ghenya and lindsey are dear, dear kin friends that genuinely teach me about true love. our friendships were not planned, but just kind of happened. lindsey and i were roomies for one semester of our first year at oru, and then again our junior and senior years. she is one of the kindest, most unselfish people i know and she made college feel a bit more like home. she listened, she loved and she continues to make me so grateful for our friendship. ghen and i studied in valencia, spain for a semester together and our relationship developed in a different manner. she and i are both passionate, vocal individuals that feel deeply. initially we thought we were just going to be friends in spain, as we were each others counselors in our spanish speaking world. her honesty with me, yet unconditional love only continued in our return to oru. she has been a breath of fresh air, and her love for "healthy hearts" and devotion to providing a listening ear and warm hug is beautiful! these incredible ladies were warm hugs, when i felt alone..i am forever blessed by them.
our trip to massachusettes and vermont allowed honesty, encouragement and laughter that healed a variety of hurts. when asked what we did on our trip its simply put: we talked, shopped, cried, talked, laughed, talked, ate, ate some more, drank lots of coffee, talked and loved. it was restoring, it was lovely, and it was too short! i will now always tell people that one of the greatest gifts in life are friends that love unconditionally. friends that teach you to open your heart and mind to new ideas, and ways of living. friends that challenge you in areas of weakness, and also call you out on junk in your life..but always love you through it. i can only hope that i love them like they have loved me..thanks you my sisters.
grandma betty is whom this next portion of post is about. she is my husband's grandmother, now mine. first of all i should say that betty is not the easiest person to get along with. her intentions are generally good, but her actions and words can often come across quite harsh. she got married very young and missed some of the social graces that come from healthy interaction. nevertheless she has taught me many things, most of them indirectly and without her even knowing that she was teaching me anything. she has been incredibly generous to wes and i, and has given with a kind heart. she has challenged me to love and strive for peace relationally even when its hard. and she has enabled me to practice confrontation, and to do so with grace. i must say this has been a relationship that has taken many deep breaths often just keeping my mouth shut.
betty has pancreatic cancer and a heart that beats irregularly on a regular basis. she has been in and out of the hospital for the past month and now is back in the hospital with heart irregularity and bleeding in her intestines. she celebrated her 88th birthday yesterday, and continues to hang on. wes and i visited her two nights ago and i was overwhelmed with emotion. you must understand that i knew i would shed a tear or two at her death, but didn't expect to weep like i did. she was in kind of a silly mood the other night, and the frank nature in which she talked about her death did not make me laugh but cry. she told me that we needed to plan for her death and that since we know she is dying that it shouldn't be that hard, but i was just a basket case. i started to realize that she had said goodbye to her husband that morning when the ambulance came to pick her up, and that she would probably never get to hold one of our babies, and mostly wesley's tears reminded me that he was losing his granny. she loves jesus and reminded me that she will get to be in heaven, and i told her i knew that that didn't change the fact that i was sad. we prayed with her, said goodbye and she remains in the hospital waiting for news about her cancer and her heart. she is strong and may very well live another five years, but for now we wait. updates to come.
all of that to say that at this time of the year it sometimes seems easier to take inventory of what the condition of your heart is. has it grown cold toward your friends, or maybe family? i know that hurtful words, and painful memories of past situations can make it so hard to live in peace and even enjoy this time of year. i have had my own struggles relationally, and i expect this to be a continual journey but i am encouraged to pursue peace and to try to put aside anger. that will look different for every situation, but maybe this can just be a gentle nudge to chose the kind word, the act of love over one of bitterness and to think about the incredible gift we have been given. may the picture of a beautiful baby in a stable remind you of the love we have received despite all hate, bitterness and hurt we have experienced, and that this unconditional love isn't tainted by our own mistakes. merry christmas.
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